July Through October

image

Two days before July 6th, J and I celebrated Independence Day at a small farm owned by one of her old friends. After some patriotic snacks, swimming, and spirited games of field volleyball, a trailer’s worth of fireworks was towed into place by an ATV. The mortar fireworks rivaled those of a small town and could have blown arms and heads off if pointed in the wrong direction. Instead, the crowd was eaten alive by mosquitoes.

image
Manchild of the corn.
image
Cock tease.

My patriotism continued with a visit to the state capitol. We also started seeing a flock of wild turkeys wandering around our yard.

image
Pork platter with sauce splatter.
image
Sia’s domain.
image
Capitol hall.
image
House of Representatives.
image
Grand staircase.
image
Our neighborhood turkeys.

In mid-July, we met J’s family south of Nashville for a reunion. Our base was two rental houses on a quaint street in the equally quaint town of Leiper’s Fork. I designed our shirts in the “hipster logo” style and had them printed at a neighborhood charity.

The highlights of the trip included high-powered air conditioning, a group kayaking trip, a tour of the Jack Daniel distillery, and trying to conquer my fear of heights at a multi-story ropes course.

image
Radnor woods.
image
Greek salad from the garden.
image
Our largest haul of home grown tomatoes.
image
Relic.
image
Small Town, USA.
image
General store.
image
Gas cat.
image
Vintage cruiser.
image
Naked Gun.
image
The American Dream.
image
Yard art.
image
A kayaking family.
image
A shady lunch spot.
image
Old storefront.
image
New storefront.
image
Lovingly restored theater.
image
Tile wall.
image
Delaminating.
image
Life finds a way.
image
The charcoal making area.
image
The source of all Jack Daniel water.
image
The main buildings.
image
Inside the barrel and tasting room.
image
So many terrifying levels.
image
Family portrait.
image
Nieces and nephew.

My nieces and nephews were addicted to the mobile version of Minecraft. I purchased my own copy and enjoyed exploring and building in our shared worlds. I don’t think the other adults understood the appeal of that game, nor were enthusiastic about everyone sitting around with their faces in screens. But to me, it was like playing together with Lego bricks on an infinitely large table.

At the end of July, J and I bought a power multi-tool to repair some rotten wood at the base of our garage doors. It didn’t turn out perfectly, but was still a success.

At the start of August, handymen started demolishing our front porch. Our original plan was to replace the rotted turned columns and save money by reusing the rails.

But as demo continued, it became apparent that more wood would would need to be replaced above the columns. And since the fascia was coming down, so did the front gutter.

I was working at home during the construction, and it stressed me out. I wasn’t sure if I could trust our handyman, so I was super skeptical of everything he said and super thorough with getting estimates and records of cutting checks. He was more casual about everything.

image
Wes Anderson style mole negro.
image
Door frame repair.
image
Goodbye old fan.
image
Goodbye old porch.
image
The point of no return.

The new columns were up a week later and looked great supporting our cedar ceiling. Reusing our old rails was out of the question as they looked horrible. J and I almost decided to have our handyman build a new set, but the weekend before he was supposed to start we told him we wanted to try building them ourselves.

The numbers made sense too. For what it would cost to hire someone to make the rails, we could make the rails, buy all the materials and power tools we needed, and still save some money.

J drafted the plans. We borrowed a truck to pick up the lumber and equipment. Our tools included a power sander, miter saw, stud finder, cordless brad nailer, router, clamps. J’s dad lent us an old table saw that we were able to get cutting safety with a new belt and blade.

Our first task was doing all the finish calking and painting on the handyman’s work. That took one weekend. During the week, I sealed the cedar ceiling and patched the concrete on the porch floor. While a handyman installed some new gutters, I finished up on the exterior painting and repainted the porch floor.

The rails took over a month of working weekends to finish. We had a lot of balusters to cut, paint, and assemble. We had rip wood to size on the table saw, router the top rails, put everything together, then seal and paint. I hate balusters now.

We spend another weekend figuring out how to install the porch swing and ceiling fan. Our wiring isn’t to code, but should be fine for now.

image
Calking and trimming.
image
I never thought I would have my own workshop.
image
Brad nailing ballisters.
image
Bluegrass.
image
A finished section of porch rail. I love the sealed cedar.

In September, another weekend was spent installing a single stair rail. Epoxy was used to fill the old bolt holes that had blown out of the concrete stairs, and the new bolts were carefully fused into place. Our rail is rock solid, but we still need to buy wood to finish the second one.

We love our porch now and have enjoyed sitting out there at any opportunity. The gleaming new surfaces make the rest of our house look like a shriveled old hag.

image
A finished porch!

My father came to visit, and Nashville made a good impression. The weather was cool enough for the first fire of the season.

I bought an Apple Watch and scratched the face on the second day.

image
Sink graveyard.
image
Old firehouse downtown.
image
Our first potatoes.
image
Could use a few more crosses.
image
Access.
image
Neon fork.
image
The sickly smell of electrical fires.
image
Beauty and the what?!
image
Classic signage.

image
Flight.
image
Reflective J.
image
Into the woods.
image
Wild passionfruit.
image
Head tall thistles.
image
Grassy trails.
image
Thistle and butterfly.
image
Making Thai food.
image
The Gulch at night.

image
The foreman.
image
Dad takes flight.
image
The first fire of the season.
image
Bicentennial oak.
image
Brutal.
image
Fight for your right to sabotage.
image
Hot chicken.
image
Melty McBirdmelt.
image
Into the Woods II.
image
Our first home grown sweet potato.

Last weekend, J and I attended a work-related redneck-themed party at the Durham Town off-road park in the woods southeast of Atlanta.

Miles of dusty trails snaked through the woods. Our rides were paid for. First we tried ATVS, but J was scared of dying. I went out again on my own and hauled ass, actually getting airborne on a few moguls.

Next we hopped into a Polaris side by side. With a roll cage, I was emboldened to go faster, catch more air and drift. For two hours, I barreled through the woods.

It was an amazingly fun thing. Thirty five miles per hour might not feel fast in a car, but when there are trees whizzing by with only a couple feet of clearance as you are flying into the air, it feels much faster. Then J pointed out that I had been in low gear the whole time. I switched it into high gear, and our experience followed suit.

image
Tree tunnel.
image
Falling A.
image
Reliving the past.
image
J Dawg the Offroad Hog.
image
Farm cemetery.
image
Bikes.
image
Safety inspector.
image
Beautiful scenery to fly between.
image
I think I found a new favorite hobby.
image
Whole hog.
image
Layers.
image
Path by a track.
image
The mechanic.
image
Bonfire and college football.
image
Seriously, these things rock.

It started raining as we returned to the party. I wiped red dirt from my face and sat down to mingle, drink, and eat barbecue.

The following day, we took the scenic route home to enjoy the fall foliage.

image
Abandoned Georgia mansion just waiting for a zombie showdown.
image
Private falls.
image
Bend in the yellow.
image
Fall foliage.
image
Fly fishing stream.
image
A last view of the hills.

I’m living the redneck dream.

Thanks, Obama.

News Menu

About Categories Archives